DTH Classic: The Secret Gift of Christmas (Feat. Josh Johnson)

[00:00:02] This is a Bramble Jam Podcast. Hi, I'm Brian and I love Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Brian, I like Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Dan and I despise Hallmark Christmas movies. I'm Josh Johnson and I am pretty indifferent to Hallmark Christmas movies. And this is the Deck The Hallmark Podcast! Deck The Hallmark, it's this podcast.

[00:00:30] Brandon and friends host this podcast. We hope you like this jolly podcast. Well, hey there. Hi there, everybody. It's a secret gift of Christmas Day and we have a secret gift that's not a secret. I don't know. I try to make a segue. It's not working. Josh Johnson's here.

[00:00:54] Josh, I saw you all over my social media recently doing a bunch of like fun shorts and all that stuff and comedy. And then I go to your YouTube page and I see that you are like the hardest working comedian I've ever seen. You're putting out new sets like all the time. So for people that have never seen your work or anything like that, tell everybody a little bit about your shelf. Oh, yeah. So I do stand up. I live in New York right now.

[00:01:22] I've been doing stand up for some years and I write at The Daily Show. And I just I don't know whether it's news or it's it's different stories and everything. I've always been able to write pretty quickly. So this year I just sort of made the decision to put out everything as I was writing it. You know, I know that the common thing is to save it all until you have a special coming up or something.

[00:01:47] But I felt like I could connect with people better and I could showcase what I do more if I just share pretty regularly. So I've been putting out like 10 to 15 minutes every week for I think like five months now. Wow. And so it's been fun. Yeah, it's been good. It is a little like now now that I know people expect it, it has become a little bit of a stressor.

[00:02:10] But overall, it's a lot of fun and I get to I get to share stuff that I wouldn't normally wait until I had a special to release, if that makes sense. Yeah, I imagine doing something like that. The the worry might be this could bomb and I'll find out on stage. Like usually when you have a special, it's like I've worked this stuff out. It's good to go.

[00:02:35] So but when you're doing this, I imagine, you know, you never know how things are going to like respond. People are going to respond to different bits. Have you had any serious bombs or has it been pretty good for you? It's been pretty good. You know, I think that for the most part, you spend all those years doing open mics so that you can tell a little bit better what's going to bomb and what's going to go well.

[00:02:58] You know, I think that the whole point of of those early stages of comedy is so that you can become more discerning. And so now sometimes I'll have an idea and be like, that will not work. Like I know for a fact it won't work, you know? Yeah, for sure. It's like our show. We have an idea like that won't work. And then we're halfway through doing it. Yeah, we're not discerning. So that's good to know. We put out 250 minutes a week, Josh, every week.

[00:03:28] So a lot of it does bomb. There's no way around it. We don't there's nothing that gets edited out. We all just we're just here and we're doing it. But it's not people aren't here right in front of us. Like it's not like a comedy cellar where if you bomb, you're going to know it real quick. Like we have to wait. It's a delayed bombing for us. Yeah, we do hear back. Don't you worry. We hear what's the difference between writing for a show like The Daily Show and writing something for stand up?

[00:03:56] I mean, at least when it's stand up, it's something you have to say and you sort of have to go by your word. When you're writing for a late night show or any TV show, you're usually writing something for someone else to say. So it is a little bit of a buffer. You know, if the thing doesn't work or it is an opportunity to say things in a way that you would normally say them, it is it.

[00:04:23] It's good to write for other voices because it expands your mind towards jokes. And I think that when I'm writing for someone else, you know, there are definitely jokes that I wouldn't necessarily tell or just aren't things that I find the funniest, but I can write to them, if that makes sense. Yeah. And then that way, it's a way of being able to share more types of jokes with people. The Daily Show, though, it's in between hosts right now. So they've had like a lot of different people fill in. Has that been?

[00:04:53] Yeah, I imagine that helps you even more, like just trying to figure out the voice of each person that's coming up. Is that like an SNL experience where the new host comes in and you're like pitching for them and then they kind of figure out what they want and what they like and then you go from there? So, I mean, for the most part, I think it's been a great general exercise in writing because yes, there's a new guest host every week. They all have different styles and voices. And then on top of it, I'm trying to put out a clip every week.

[00:05:23] So it's just it's a lot. But luckily, I feel like I've been building up to this point. So it doesn't feel, I guess, as stressful as it could be, you know. And we asked you to watch a Hallmark movie on top of all of that. Do you have a history at all with Hallmark movies or is this your first one? If I am at home with my mom and my aunt in Georgia, we will either watch a Lifetime movie

[00:05:52] or a Hallmark movie, at least one per trip. And it's not something that is it's not something that's planned. It's usually just when my aunt has control of the remote. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and then and then also my favorite is that my aunt never gets through the movie. She always falls asleep. So that's just my mom and I looking at the TV like, why are we still watching this?

[00:06:19] Because at first you want to be polite in case she wakes up in like five minutes. You know, there's been two and a half minutes of commercials. You could just explain what she missed. But inevitably she falls asleep for the rest of the movie. And then we watch it and we have our takeaways. And it's a tradition. Yeah, it is. And so you had to watch this one just out of your own volition. So there's that. What part of Georgia are you from? So I actually grew up in Louisiana. It's just I have family living in Georgia.

[00:06:47] Okay, I got you where we're in Greenville, South Carolina. So we're right up the road. Oh, okay. Like Atlanta, we're like two hours from Atlanta. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. Well, we gave you a goodie. Uh, for those at home that maybe didn't see it, I will give you the full rundown. The Secret Gift of Christmas originally premiered on the Hallmark Channel on December 15th, 2023. And it went a little something like this.

[00:07:14] Uh, the movie kicks off in the weirdest way possible to establish that someone's a personal shopper. It's just a bunch of shots of our lead, Bonnie Parker, picking out gifts with music that makes it seem like she's a magical being. She's not a magical being. She's just Bonnie. And she's the type of person that gets her clothes dry cleaned if she is even in the proximity of a construction site. She gets a new client. His name is Patrick Armstrong.

[00:07:43] And he, uh, she meets at the construction site. He's jammed to some Christmas music. She startles him. She introduces herself and he's like, okay, well, this wasn't my idea at all. I'm busy. And, and she's like, that's exactly why you need a personal shopper. And he's like, good point. He gives her some vague ideas for gifts and, uh, makes two things clear. One, he does not like dressing up. And two, he does not like social media.

[00:08:11] So really off to a good start with her. Cause those are two of her favorite things. Patrick is a, uh, widow father cause Hallmark. And he is, uh, surprised when he hears that his daughter's music teacher, Fiona Appleby got tickets to a fancy show from him. And he's like, this is not what I had in mind. Then she brings a suit jacket for him to try on. Then she buys the worker shiny boots. Dang it, Bonnie.

[00:08:40] He tells you, this is not what I want. And she's like, okay, all right. He's like, I want less perfect gifts and I want more like plants or something. Spoiler alert. She does not listen, but everyone is really into the gifts. She is shocked to find out that Patrick's wife is dead because he talked about her a lot and did leave out that bit of information. So when she meets her daughter, uh, his daughter, she takes her to hot chocolate.

[00:09:08] And this little girl just unloads upon poor Bonnie, but Bonnie handles it like a champ and tells her that she's going to try to hook her up with tickets to see Travis Kelsey's girlfriend. Uh, Patrick tells Bonnie to keep doing what she's doing. Cause the gifts are a big hit and they agree to go look at Christmas trees together. But first she has to go on a blind date with her sister, uh, with someone who her sister set her, set her up with.

[00:09:33] It's a disaster because this dude is going through a divorce, uh, and her sister is going to win, uh, the award for worst sister of the year. What's not a disaster though, is Bonnie and Patrick go into the Christmas tree lot. They bond, they talk about Christmas memories. There's a weird plot twist in this movie where she refuses to be in her dad's wedding. Um, and, um, that's really the end of that. They do talk at the end, but it came out of nowhere.

[00:09:59] Kind of like the alien and signs, uh, Bonnie and Patrick go ice skating and he opens up about his dead wife. And then after talking about his dead wife for a while shoots his shot and invites her to come over smooth on her way out. They almost kiss, but she interrupts their own kiss by making up the fact that he has cookie on his face. A weird way to handle that. But you, you go girl. Uh, it's time for the big Christmas event.

[00:10:27] And Bonnie is there. And so is Appleby. Fiona Appleby is like, how great is Patrick? I can't wait to go on my date with Patrick. Patrick's the best. Also, I gave away the tickets you bought me to a woman in need. And Bonnie is like, man, she's a lot, but it's all good. Cause I have a gift for Patrick's daughter. Let's see Fiona Appleby do that. She can't. Patrick and Bonnie slow dance. It's a moment. Fiona Appleby is not having it. It is time for Christmas karaoke. They sing jingle bells.

[00:10:57] Fiona jumps up and says, it's time for Patrick and I to sing silent nights as Bonnie awkwardly walks off the stage. It is too much for her to handle. So she leaves. They didn't do a closeup of bird poop landing on snow for a reason. I don't know. Turns out she accidentally dropped her necklace. I wasn't aware of that when it happened. Turns out that's what that was. Patrick then goes to check in on her in a weird turn of events.

[00:11:24] It's like, Hey, I don't want to, uh, uh, like when people mentioned me on social media and she's like, well, you should spend more time with your daughter. It's a wild conversations with many twists and turns, but ultimately she leaves a, um, uh, Bonnie spends the night spiraling out of control. First, she looks on social media and gets jealous of a karaoke video that Fiona posted. Then she deletes a post of her and Patrick. Then she goes on an $800 online shopping spree.

[00:11:54] We've all been there girl. Uh, she then gets a wise words from a Santa Claus, the Santa who can say that is this. It's not about the presence. It's about our presence. What? She takes that advice and she runs with it. She, uh, deletes social media. She loads up a burlap sack with a bunch of stuff to donate. He gives his daughter the gift that Bonnie bought her for his own daughter. It's a matching necklace of the one that she has, but lost.

[00:12:23] Remember the bird poop. Then the daughter is like, Hey, Fiona sucks eggs. I think that you should be with Bonnie. There you go. Uh, Patrick goes over to Bonnie blinds, folds her, brings her to root. Rudy's a place that I know about. I was paying attention. He tells her that, uh, he, uh, digs her big time, gives her the necklace back, gives her a matching sweater and they kiss tiny ones.

[00:12:48] And that my friends was the secret gift of Christmas. We did it. That was a lot. That was a lot. I need a break. We're going to take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll break this movie down with four segments here on deck. The hallmark. Welcome back everybody. Uh, wow. What a day we have for you.

[00:13:18] Josh Johnson's here. We're talking about this movie. It's a lot. It's time for the hot take. It is where we share exactly how we felt about this movie per tradition. Brian, I will start with you. Uh, no, no, no, why would we, why would we, we never have, Brian, we almost should almost should for sure. Start with the guests, but we never have. Nope. And now I feel weird about it. Cause you pointed it out. Brian, what'd you think about this movie? All right. So thanks brand. Uh, this is just okay for me.

[00:13:47] Uh, I was looking forward during watching this movie. I was looking forward to this review, knowing that it was going to be pretty fun. I had so many weight. What's I, especially having a guest you want, you don't want to take up all the time. So I had to really focus. The hardest work I did here was narrowing down my weight. What's yeah. To a select few that I felt strongly about, uh, the whole battle against dressing up is like, grow up, man. Like you look great in a blazer. Uh, Chris Russell saying he only wants to wear a hoodie.

[00:14:16] I mean the guy like he do it for us, like do it for everybody else. You look great. Like just stop whining. The whole, having a personal shopper just feels so expensive. Yeah. Like for some, I like giving gifts. I like thinking of a good gift. Like when I think of an idea that I think is a really good gift idea, I'm psyched. I would never outsource that, especially for like important people in my life. Like your daughter. Like a child that I, I don't know about or do know about depending on, you know, this,

[00:14:46] how this guy's feeling that day. Uh, or clients who I'm trying to really like have a really strong connection with. I like the idea here of the two opposites, but just overall was like, oh man, a little bit of a dud for me. Uh, Josh, you watched one of these a year. We gave you this one. Uh, what'd you think about this movie? Um, there were a lot of wait what's there was also, I think that my, uh, biggest takeaway is that a shopping addiction is apparently not that hard to break.

[00:15:17] They set it up several times in the movie that she has a problem. And then when she's actually at the height of when she should be the most depressed, when she's lost this amazing man and connection to a young woman, she has an affinity for, she decides, nope, no more addiction after buying the stuff, by the way. Uh, and all it took was, uh, a Santa that seems like he'd be on a registry. Like, how do you just know her name?

[00:15:45] Like in, in, I understand this is hallmark. I understand it's supposed to be Santa, but it was a little bit of a jarring when you, once you're an adult, the idea of a volunteer Santa is jarring. Yeah. And you're like, like when, okay. So what I found out, I don't know if I'm supposed to say this on the podcast. Go for it, Josh. When I found out that Santa wasn't real. What? Come on.

[00:16:10] I was shocked at just how many men's laps I've been on. Like looking back now, you're like, I, that was just anybody with a lap. Could have, could have gotten it, which is crazy. And so, uh, that, I think my biggest, uh, wait, what was their manufactured argument so that the boy can lose girl. Yeah.

[00:16:39] I mean, like we, we were in this thing where, you know, the sort of boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl. And this happens so late in the movie. I'm like, when are they going to do it? Cause everything's, everything's going so well. Yeah. It's going well. It's like, he was kind of rude once, but she likes him more later. So then the rudeness didn't bother her that much at all. If anything made her want to win him back more.

[00:17:06] So then the, the argument when they had him say the line, why are we even talking about this? It felt, it felt almost meta because he's the one that's like, even though you did push me out of my comfort zone, which I still thought he was talking about the suit. Yeah. And then she was like, what's that supposed to mean? And then he was like, I don't really like people, you know, talking about me on social

[00:17:33] media, even though I want you to post me and my daughter on social media on your very famous page. And then she was like, well, maybe if you raised your dog, which also seemed to come a little bit out of left field like that. A little bit. And her feelings are hurt and she's in a bit of shock cause she thinks he's dating someone, but to go from a, have a great night to raise your daughter. Yeah.

[00:18:01] It was also a bit jarring. It escalated quickly. It sure did. It was rough. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I, yeah. But also he was like, let's not talk about it. You brought it up. Like it, you were the one that brought up the conversation to begin with. Why are we even talking about this? Because you, because you, you said it, you brought it up, bud. That's tough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This one's wild, man.

[00:18:26] Um, I, we've seen a lot of movies and you kind of hope every year you'll get one like this. You never know if it's going to happen. Uh, and it happens. It's was a ride. It was a roller coaster. It was honestly, uh, the mo the, the, is it the worst movie we've seen all year? I don't know. Was it one of the ones I enjoyed the most? Yeah. This movie is a blast. It's insane. It's ridiculous.

[00:18:54] And I got to say this movie reminded me of last year's colorblind movie. Also starring Chris Russell, Chris Russell. You're my boy. You keep showing up year after year for like this type of movie where it's just everything. You're just, when you, when you, when they, you think they're zigging, they're zagging and it's just a wild ride. And this is a ridiculous movie and I, I enjoyed every single second of it, Dan. Oh yeah. This movie's trash.

[00:19:20] Uh, and the thing is, is that it's just kind of like run of the mill bad for like an hour. And then the last 20 minutes, they just dumped the whole bucket of wackadoodle just right in there. The last 20 minutes. This movie is crazy. The character of Fiona Appleby deserves her own dateline episode or movie or whatever you want to do with that.

[00:19:43] There is, as Josh mentioned, a question of magical Santa, which is the worst amount of magical Santa. Like to, to have a magical Santa. That's just magical in the fact that he knows someone's first and last name and then winks at them. The worst level of magical Santa you can have so many questions about how this secret shopping is done. What laws are broken in the process. And the thing is, is that the two leads aren't bad in this movie, but the movie starts off.

[00:20:13] In such a weird way. Like she's a weird character. Really weird intro. A storefront secret shopping business. And then it just snowballs into sheer lunacy by the end of this, where it's like, she's questioning his parenting. A necklace magically drops off of her neck. A magic Santa shows up to be creepy enough to call somebody. It is, it is a wild, wild ride with, um, how do I say this nicely?

[00:20:43] Some of the most inexperienced background, like secondary characters. I, that's what I'm going to say. I'm going to assume that everyone in here that's not Megan Ori or Chris Russell just doesn't have a lot of experience acting because there, there are some people that walk in and say a line and you're like, they just, before they said action, they said the line three times themselves to memorize it. And they walked in and they said it and they left.

[00:21:09] It was like when I was the lead in the church play as a kid, like you crushed by the way. Oh, I did cry. I was Billy. Yeah, of course I crushed it. Um, and yeah, the reviews are mixed. You're saying, okay, I've heard, um, the players called go, go Jonah. Um, so I did what I could with the material. Anyway, I've heard it called no go Jonah. Oh boy. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. My parents hid the reviews for me. Uh, yeah. Everyone around them is either the plot around them is just whack them all crazy.

[00:21:39] And then the actors around them are, I think they're pranking them. Like, I think they're doing it on purpose and it, it is just, it's like you're watching something that, that not this movie never feels like an actual homework movie, but everyone feels like they're doing what they're doing on purpose. And I don't know how else to describe it. And like, yeah, like they're all in on it. Like they're all in on, they know that this movie is wild and it doesn't make sense.

[00:22:08] And I couldn't get past it. Everyone besides the, uh, leads does have the training video energy. That's right. Yes. Yes, exactly. I mean, you ever watch a training video and someone walks in and it's like, you're the customer. It was like that. And I forgot to mention one thing, my biggest wait, what moment I'm so sorry. I left it out of the initial, I, in the beginning, you know, like when they set up the

[00:22:38] magical stuff and, and she breaks the fourth wall first, first line. Cause then I was like, wait, is she talking to a camera or she talking to me? Then she's talking to someone else. And when she shops for that person and gets him that sweater. And he's like, if only I had one for my, they play the sound effect. And then his dog just has the sweater on. And I'm like, when did she do that? Then? Yeah.

[00:23:02] If he doesn't know his dog has the sweater on, was she just in the room with his dog beforehand, put the sweater on him and then sat the dog down. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's brutal. Yeah. Yeah. My goodness. She's good. It's time for all the fields. It's where we talk about what in this movie gave us Christmas feels or any other fields. Brian. Sure. I got the most Christmas feels from her outfits. Megan Ori, right? Yeah.

[00:23:32] Her. Usually I don't like outfits and stuff. Don't really like stand out. It felt like it. Every time we saw her, she had something super unique. She went big with the Christmas. Yeah. And she had like a red coat and black, like feathery boots at one point. And I, I'd stand on the hill forever and die on this hill. You'd stand on the hill forever. You'd stand on it and die. Wow. That red coat better than Travis Kelsey's girlfriend red coat. Wow. I won't even say her name. So that's all I need to say. Wow. Super Christmas. Yeah.

[00:24:03] A phenomenal, like Christmassy outfits. And they really stood out to me in this movie. Josh, any specific feels for you while you're watching this movie? Um, I mean, I learned what a root ball was. Yeah. I didn't know that was either. I didn't know that you could cut a tree down. Like, like when they have the, the male lead, um, uh, Chris, was it Chris Russell? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:24:32] When Chris Russell is having the conversation with his daughter where he's like, wait, you want me to cut down a tree, keep it alive and then plan it in the backyard. That also felt nearly meta for the level of silly that it sounded. And his character thought it was dumb. And I didn't know it was a real thing. Yeah. So I didn't either. Very Christmas. No, I, that's a good one. I was like, I should do that. Yeah. Y'all should. I, um, I live, I live for bad karaoke.

[00:25:00] It is, um, I don't know. One of my favorite things on earth, like good karaoke. Good. Like if you got the chops, go up there, crush it. When someone goes up there and is earnest and is also bad, it's perfect. And it's what I want. And I, uh, I loved in this specific movie, Fiona Appleby, um, and Chris Russell do a thing and it is a thing. And, uh, it was magnificent. That scene gave me all the karaoke vibes. Yeah.

[00:25:30] Yeah. I actually really liked Megan Ori's just energy in the movie. Yeah. I like, we've not seen her in anything since dashing through the snow with Andrew Walker. And I, I think she should be in more of these movies. She was very quirky and weird and fun. And I, and I was like that energy for the first 20 minutes of this movie. I was willing to buy the crazy premise because I liked her. Yeah. Uh, but then the crazy wins out like a landslide, but early on it felt like I really liked what she was bringing. Yeah.

[00:26:00] Yeah. Let's take one more quick break. We'll come back with some more. Wait, what's into what the hallmarks here on deck, the hallmark, the hallmark. Thanks Dan. You're welcome. Welcome back everybody. We're talking about, uh, what is the name of this movie? The secret gift of Christmas. That's the one. Don't tell anyone. Uh, it's time for the wait, what's where we talk about what in this movie made us go wait, what? Uh, Brian, anything stick out to you that made you go at what? A few.

[00:26:31] I think a wait, what for Pat, the dad was that he had a daughter a lot of times. He just spent no time with her. Hardly any time. He didn't want to think of her Christmas gift. They're all about that, right? No, come on now. Uh, keep my kids as close to me as I can. That's true. You brought a sick kid to work today. Do you believe this guy? Uh, dedication. The Christmas tree and lights at the job site are a nice touch. I feel like, like OSHA violation. Yes. But yeah, Christmas. Yes.

[00:27:00] Renovate an old house. Got to get those Christmas decorations. The door. You put up the tree. Possibly renovate a house without Christmas decorations. You got to get string. Those lights, uh, plug them in the generator. Uh, the after hours booty call from the music teacher was weird. Uh, did she work at the school or was she just like a regular? So we thought she worked at the school and then she goes to the lessons. It's clearly private lessons, but then a little better. She calls him and he's not even listening to her. Right.

[00:27:29] He's literally not listening to her. Um, and, and, and gets like a pseudo date kind of out of that. Yeah. Yeah. So weird. And then the ice rink was magnificent. If you're going for not an ice rink, we're going to, we're going to put shiny white material down and there's going to be so much garland and lights that you're not even going to notice that they're just walking. They're walking on this shoulders and up scenes, holding each other, walk to the bench

[00:27:58] and sit down and grab that hot chocolate. That note, like I've heard in other podcasts that rink scenes are terrible. The film, like the lighting's hard. The sound is hard. So they just like, what if we didn't have it? Yeah. What if he didn't like, great, maybe don't do that. Like anything else for this specific skating. No, no, no, no skating. None of it. It was just, and nobody around. Uh, so just so funny. I love that. And then the end was magnificent again in the span of three minutes.

[00:28:28] Uh, she deleted her business socials, donated an S ton of stuff, reconciled with her dad all via montage. Yeah. Yeah. Christmas miracle. The last 20 minutes have enough plot in it to last a lifetime. Just fixed everything. Yeah. Uh, Josh, any other way? What's for you that stuck out while you were watching this film? Um, yes, yes. And I'm realizing I said some of them too early now. No, you're fine. I jumped the segment. I apologize.

[00:28:57] I walk. Okay. So I, I was taken aback at how sexy the teacher tried to sing silent night. This is my thing. I understand the position she's in. She thinks in this moment, she has to fight for her man. Sure. Okay. And she, and she very like mean girl, nice girl, beckon, beckon the lead to get off the stage.

[00:29:25] Like she was like, so without further ado, and then just stared and then nodded and she got ready to go. And I was like, wow, that was, Ooh, well you, you have the material of an ex wife. That is crazy. And so then she starts singing silent night and it is, is it has the vibes of Marilyn Monroe singing happy birthday, Mr. President. Is this about Jesus right now?

[00:29:55] She was, she was coming to him all close and stuff. And then he kind of matched it a little bit where he got a little deeper than when they sang the first song. And so it was a weird, I couldn't get out of it. And then, um, there was another moment that I actually wrote it down because I was so jarred. Okay. One second. Okay.

[00:30:23] There's a level of shock that the daughter has when, um, when Megan Ori's character tells her that she's just a regular person that I could not get past for maybe 10 minutes. Cause then she asked a question that was, was not that delusional of what social media is like. She was like, is, is she kind of asked her the perfect question, especially for a kid talking to an adult.

[00:30:52] She was like, do you think that you presenting as super happy as what gets you so many followers? And then she responds. None of this is real life, which is terrifying to tell to a child. Nine year old is your actual life. Like, like I understand what she was trying to get at. She was trying to say that when you look at people all happy or glamorous, it's not necessarily

[00:31:21] their real life, but all that we've seen in the movie of her posting a social is what she's doing. Yeah. So, so the idea that like, no, none of this is real. You don't understand. And then obviously, you know, you can only act as much as you're, as you're given, but she looked at her so deeply horrified. What is anything? Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't get past it. It was like, it was almost like a philosophical question was asked.

[00:31:51] Yeah. She's having a full crisis. Yes. If, if nothing's real, then is anything real? What? I want the daughter to be like, Oh, so are you like a loser? Yeah. What's your whole thing? She's transferred over to the adult. Oh man. Uh, anything else before I dive on? Um, I think that, okay, these are very quick. One is the exposition from Bernard. Cause no one needed to know anything that he said.

[00:32:21] Actually I hired you. I got out of college. Like I got out of college and I needed a job. So my uncle hired me and you know, he, he's not great with everything, but he's good at his job, but he loves me. And it was just, and that's one of those conversations where if you had it with a person real life, you'd be like, okay, I gotta get out of here. Yeah. Totally back out. That's exactly right. Yeah. You know how every renovating contracting team has a little school desk at the front

[00:32:45] of the house that they're renovating and they sit a youngster down there and they have you there to take notes. Yeah. Yeah. Plug in the lights. He's great at that. He's great at that. Plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot, plot. Yeah. Exactly. Dude. Exactly. So then I loved when the lead was like, let's take a, us like pajama selfie or whatever. And the sister's like, Oh no, let's not. I just washed my face when she clearly has a full face of makeup on.

[00:33:14] And like, I, I was one, that was one of those things where I was like, you would actually do less work to just either cut the line or not have her made up in this moment. And then the last thing was, uh, um, how the dad, Chris is so inept with his daughter, but so adept with the teacher where he's like, you need to get her a plan.

[00:33:44] All right. Trust me when I tell you. And it, and it ensues a crush that he probably maybe saw coming. Like he, he seems to be oblivious to it, but he's also like, I told you to get her a plan. Didn't I? A fake one. If you had just got her a fake plan, we wouldn't be in this mess. Trying to rub my chiseled shoulders right now. If you would just got a fake plan.

[00:34:11] And so she would be sick of a silent night in my mouth. Where it belongs. Oh, I have a few. If you can imagine there's still some. Uh, this guy has his wedding measurements on file. Yeah. What? Like he has a file on his computer or on his work. Cause he says Bernard has access to it.

[00:34:38] So Bernard has access to his wedding measurements. No, I thought Marco. No, the Taylor has access. Okay. I thought he said get it from Bernard. The Taylor. Thank God. Bernard might. I don't know. He looks great. He does look great. So, uh, I can't imagine a worse first date than sitting in someone's house because it's like, how do you get out of it? There's no way. If it's not going well, I, I, this is, well, how do I get out of it?

[00:35:08] I can't, I have to stay. I'm stuck now in this house with you talking about what you're talking about. That's tough for her. Um, I would challenge anyone to take a drink. Anytime someone in this movie says social media page. Cause it's a lot, you know, the social media page, social media pages. Yeah. I don't want to keep piling on nephew Bernard, but Bernard, but I'm gonna, he can take it. I, you know how I said, I love karaoke. I, I, uh, and compare it compared to Bernard.

[00:35:37] I don't cause Bernard, this whole movie is pushing for the karaoke. He's like, you gotta get back up there, man. You gotta get back up there. And then when karaoke finally happens, they pan over to Bernard and Bernard's like, yeah, this is what I've been waiting for. I've been waiting for Bernard is obsessed with karaoke. Um, guys, we, you gotta plug in the mics. I don't, I know I keep saying it. Just plug in the daggone mics. If you're going to show the end of the mics, just plug them in. He says, um, she comes up Fiona Appleby and says that Chris Russell knows the perfect harmony

[00:36:07] to silent night. No, uh, does not. In fact, um, he says, yeah, that we already talked about the mentioning on social media and then being like, why are you even talking about this? You brought it up. Um, I love that she, who is a social media influencer is scrolling social or like Instagram on her laptop. That's the most, uh, the best way to do that when you're having a tough day. Um, this was so weird to me.

[00:36:33] So he's, you know, gives the gift to his daughter that he did not buy, nor did he know what it was. She opens it up. It's like, yay. And then she does the big push to, Hey, Fiona needs to kick rocks. You got someone better. Yeah. And then he says, I've got a good idea. And he whispers to his daughter, but no one else is around. I noticed that too. Why did he whisper? Yeah. In his house. In his own house to his own daughter. Just the two of them. That's a weird move.

[00:37:00] He wants to avoid having real conversations with his daughter so much that when he does, he does it in whisper. Uh, that's just a move. That's a move. Uh, Denny. I do know why he did that. Why did he do it? Um, so he whispered to her because the ghost of his ex wife is in the house. That's right. Yeah. Can't hear a whisper. That's a fact. Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Fair. Yeah. It's fair.

[00:37:24] She does load up a full burlap sack, goes to the table to, uh, donate these things, takes them all out one by one, and then hands the person the burlap sack. Yeah. Just hand it all over. Yeah. You don't need to look at what I got. Look what I'm doing. Here's the sack as well. Here's some homework. Um. Um, show off actually at that point. Last but not least, he says, I've got a new Christmas Eve tradition for us.

[00:37:53] We're going to go in here. We're going to eat chowder. Yep. And then we're going to go back to my sisters for dinner. Their new new Christmas Eve tradition is chowder followed by dinner. And that's just a lot for them, but good for them. Uh, Dano. Um, I pretty sure the point of a personal shopper is so you still get credit, right? Yeah. I'm not, I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. I've never had a personal shopper, but in all my experiences hearing about them, the goal

[00:38:22] is, is that they do the shopping and then I still get to give the gifts without anyone knowing. You're clued in on it, but like you're told the rundown of gifts. Yes. But in this movie, not only does she do all the shopping, she does all the gift giving like a 60, 40 takes all the credit for it. But she, at this point he didn't do anything. He didn't like, I like, he didn't even find her. Yeah. Bernard did.

[00:38:52] The word secret is important is all I'm saying. He's the one who it's a secret from. It's an important part of the secret shopping experience is secret. Hey, what'd you get my daughter? Mm mm. You're not getting it out of me. No. It's going to be a surprise for you and her. I, yeah. And here's the thing is why does a secret shopper need a storefront? That's a big one. I don't, why you are on main street there in a brick and mortar. Yeah. Why do you need, who is coming?

[00:39:21] Like you, all of your stuff's still online. Like you don't need a, a, a storefront for dog sweaters. I mean, yeah, I don't understand that. Um, I am very concerned, uh, that a nine year old girl is a little too excited about getting her dad back together with a, like back out there. Um, she is trying to set him up with two different women. Yeah.

[00:39:46] Uh, this daughter is setting him up with Megan or his character, but also she's setting him up with Fiona Appleby too. She goes to the music class. You ought to show up to the dad's party. He knows the harmonies to silent night. You need to get up there and sing it with them. You're invited. Why are you doing that? Girl? Why are you doing that? Do you think up until they sing silent night, it is a close race and then silent night happens.

[00:40:16] And it's like, well, this has been, doesn't even know Fiona Appleby exists. Can I tell you about my girl, Fiona Appleby for a second, who is crazy. All right. She calls him at nine at night and is like, could we go on? Maybe the next time you bring your daughter to music class afterwards, we'll go to the Christmas market. And he's like, sure. Well, the next time that she goes to music class, he bails on her and he doesn't go to music class.

[00:40:43] So Fiona has been stood up once at that, at that music class. The daughter's like, you should come to the Christmas party. Fiona then does not get an invite to the Christmas party emails Bernard and goes, I was supposed to get an invite to this party. Where's my invite? And he sends her one. Yeah. Then she shows up, does the karaoke thing and kicks the girl off the stage where they both

[00:41:09] sing the harmonies to what I can only describe as a country Western version of silent night. They she's, she's crazy. I mean, this is why you gotta get the thirsty ones, fake plants. That's right. That's right. Yeah. He knew, you know, one fake plant would have prevented all this. Yeah. That's right. He wouldn't even had eye contact when he came to pick her up. That's right. One fake plant. And that's why if he had just, you know, maybe been at little, a little bit in charge of the gifts is all I'm saying.

[00:41:38] Um, there is a street in this movie that has a Christmas tree every 12 feet. And it is, I saw lane. I thought initially that it was a Christmas market, but then we find out cause it's the street where she's walking and sees the magic Santa that it is just a residential area. And like, so like every, every 10 feet outside, there is a lit Christmas tree. Not even every block, like literally 10 to a block minimum. Like it is a 10 to a block.

[00:42:08] It is a patently absurd. Um, a director. Good news is the trees are here. The bad news is too many. We went, we did a few too many. Yeah. Um, and lastly, are we to believe actually not last? I got one more. Are we to believe that her dad is at a resort in this phone call? Yeah. Because he's on a green screen. And so if he's zooming in, is he using one of those zoom green screens?

[00:42:36] Are we supposed to believe that that is actually a resort that he's at? The, I, I couldn't like, I just, I couldn't, uh, figure that out. And then you want to be in my wedding less than anything, less than anything in the whole world. See ya. I mean, kudos to her though. Yeah. Uh, lastly, uh, Chris Russell and his daughter, their house is decorated to the nines.

[00:43:02] There is garland running along every doorpost stuff everywhere. They don't have a tree and they're fighting over it. And I like, this is where he's taking a stand. He's like, we've decorated the house stem to stern. Both floors are just Christmas threw up, but I don't want a real tree. I don't want one. I just can't, I can't do it. That's the thing that I can't do. That's all I got. Uh, it's time for what the hallmark is where we, uh, ask any questions that we still have

[00:43:32] after watching this movie. I can't imagine there are any, but, uh, Brian, any questions that you still have? I did have a question at some point. A, uh, the topic of color seasons came up and she was like, Oh, that's not your color season or you're a, whatever. You're not a winter or something. Right. And so I'm like, huh? What the heck could my color season be? Did you look it up? I did look it up. I took a quiz, obviously. Uh, the, I was, I'm not surprised. I ended up being a winter. So, you know, probably darks and what have you dark.

[00:44:01] Now we get to the what the hallmark segment. What do you got there? That was just my question about what color season I was actually. You did solve that yourself. Yeah, I did. I was right here was a winter everybody thinking about it for Brian. Thanks everybody. That's great, man. Good for you. Uh, Josh, what color season are you? Um, you know, I imagine, uh, that I'm a spring. Yeah. Um, my, my bubbly demeanor, uh, my color choices.

[00:44:30] I think spring is what I scream. 100%. I was going to say that, but I didn't, I didn't want to speak on your behalf. Uh, did you have any, what the hallmarks easily easily? Okay. Okay. So first off, what? Mm. Okay. I want to know the backstory of Marco because my man, Marco, the, the store owner who has the measurements and just knows, knows what's up at all times. Uh, he's clearly foreign.

[00:45:00] They, they stress that pretty hard with the accent that does not quite feel real. Yeah. I don't know about you, but I felt like, yes, it felt, it felt a little like someone really tried to thicken it up and put it on. Yep. And, and so the, I wonder what Marco is up to and how his business is thriving now that Chris is going to get a whole new wardrobe. Thank God.

[00:45:26] I also wonder what dark places Ryan is at. If you don't remember Ryan, he's the one that the sisters set up. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. And then he's, he's the one that she's been in the house. Yeah.

[00:45:51] And then he, he, he makes, he makes some sort of like insinuation. He's been taken to the cleaners by her sister. I can't believe she's been left alone in the house. Yeah. Yeah. Brutal. Yeah. And then, uh, it seems like the ex wife is very firm, um, happy with her decision. So I wonder where he is now because even the woman he was set up on an ambush date with, cause I won't even call it a blind date because blind date, both people know they're

[00:46:21] about to go on a date. This was a true ambush where they only ate mac and cheese and talked about his feelings. Yeah. And I wonder what's next for a person like that. More than a good one. More than fair. I was just trying to get that guy out of the house at the end of the night. Like, like you're like you said, you're stuck there. Like how do you get them out? He's not leaving. Yeah. Oh, boy. Poor guy. Um, yeah. So we talked about the Santa and that he may or may not be magic. I, I typically, if you know, someone knows the name, that's clearly like a wink,

[00:46:51] wink, nudge, nudge. That's magic Santa. The one reason why I, I I'm wondering is cause she is an influencer. So they do this thing where he's like, I know your name. Wink, wink. This must be the real Santa, but she has a big following. So is he just kind of like going for it? He's like, I'm going to go full character. I know you, I follow you on Instagram. I, that's the thing I'm going to do as Santa Claus.

[00:47:17] Like make sure to stop her to offer, offer her sage presence, not presence. That's right. That we all have heard a thousand times, but he's, he thinks, I also love that, that in that scene with that advice, that's the time they decide to add the chimes. Like when he does the advice is like, that's why that's, that's how you know it's real magic Santa. But, but I still isn't like, she, she is an influencer. It's not out of the question that he, a, you know, a street Santa would know her name,

[00:47:45] but I lean towards magic, but I'm not 100% convinced. Dano. There's a scene where a guy comes in to Chris Russell while he's renovating this house and he's like, we're going to do more business with you because of the Christmas gift that you sent us. Um, and his name is Harry and I just need you to take it to the tape and watch this performance. Um, I, I've never, I've never seen quite anything like it.

[00:48:13] The only way I can describe it is that a background actor was asked to move into the, the, the front, front ground. Uh, it, it, I want to see more of this guy. I want to know his story. I want to know what happened the day of shooting. Um, which guy is he? His name's Harry. He shows up at the house at the renovation house. Yeah. He has one scene. He comes in. He's like, because of the gifts you gave us. Oh, okay. The client. Yeah. Uh, the cigars.

[00:48:43] Yeah. Watch him deliver his lines with just the precision. Yeah. I mean, it is just, I, you've got to go and watch it. They probably had cue cards for him. Oh my gosh. They must've. And I just want to know more about him, more about his character, the backstory. That's what I want to know all. 100%. Uh, well we do have one more segment and unfortunately Josh, you're not gonna be able to hear this cause it's a video and it's not, we haven't figured out this technology, but you would love

[00:49:10] it because every day our friend Vic Webster, an actor for the Hallmark channel comes in and lets us know if there were any fist fights or action sequences that we missed. It's time for a fighting chance with Vic Webster. A fighting chance with Vic Webster.

[00:49:40] A fighting chance with Vic Webster. classic classic Vic there he said no Josh tell everybody about how they can follow you on the internet not in real life and check out all of your stuff internet's not real though yeah I am at Josh Johnson comedy on pretty much

[00:50:10] everything Instagram TikTok and YouTube I post new videos to YouTube every week and I also have a podcast called the Josh Johnson show that I talk about stories from on the road and just life and comedy with my co-host Logan Nielsen and yeah that's about it that's mainly what I do right now love it is it real life? it is real life

[00:50:39] it's me doing as much real life as I can and then trying to tell people about it you let us know how that works out for you we'll be back tomorrow with another one until then maybe we're the first to wish you a Merry Christmas Deck the Hallmark is a Bramble Jam podcast is produced by Aaron Shea what? for more information on Deck the Hallmark you can go to deckthehallmark.com for more information on the Deck the Hallmark family you can go to bramblejamplus.com Deck the Hallmark is presented by Philo TV for a free trial of Philo go to philo.tv

[00:51:08] slash dth you're about to hear some ads that help keep the lights on here in the old studio thanks for listening or don't listen it's really up to you at this point it's at the end of the show I mean you're listening to me hi but here they come I promise they're coming yep here they are happy day bye